who knows what the future will bring...

i have always questioned this in myself...where are you gonna be in the future? i hope to be writing, or helping kids learning to read. i wanted to be a doctor but could not stand blood...i wanted to be a child psychologist, but i didn't want to take math classes...but there is one thing that i want to be overall...i want to be happy. i've had a lot of saddness in my life, but with everyday comes new hope. i've become hopeful that i will be successful...i've become hopeful that i'll be a wife, a mother, and a great person in the future. my time for all of these are slowly ticking away, but what am i? hopeful.

do you know where your life is gonna be at in the next year?

can you predict the happiness in your life?

only you can write your history.

Remember the time...

i remember following my mother down the road on my tricycle, wanting to go where she was going...i remember my last day of daycare before kindergarten, i got a yellow bear carrying a yellow crayon bank, kept it for years, you know. i remember my first taste of freedom, being able to ride my bike around the block, that was a big deal back then! i remember making my first friends in grade school...they were great till they left to attend other schools.

i try to remember the good instead of the bad, but lately the bad is taking the lead. i'm running out of fingers and toes to count the different times i have been taken advantage of. lately my best friend has been my laptop, only thing i can depend on and not disappoint me (only when it gets a virus, then that sucks) i'd love a boyfriend but i don't know if my insecurities of being disappointed will keep me in a healthy relationship.

i see all of these girls that i use to mentor, and a majority of these girls have children! i'm 27, i don't have any children of my own, a college graduate with two degrees, but yet no kids. having a child out of wedlock is not gonna keep your significant other around, it could possibly drive them away. then you have a child, with no type of support from the other parent, and end up on welfare. if there was something i should have said to keep them from having the children they have right now, a lot of these girls would be graduating from college right now.

i vow to try to change one person's life while i'm alive.

short stories? you got to be kidding me!

as any good writer knows, you have to be able to write in a lot of genres, and i thought that poetry would be my strong suit...boy, was i right wrong. i took a creative writing class in college, and the one thing my professor told us is, "everyone is good at one thing, i will make you great at anything"...yeah i believed her. one week class we had to write a short story and i am thinking, "dang, well there goes my straight a in this class"... i spent a whole week tweaking and rewriting till my hand ached. enough of that, i am turning it in as is and i'll take the grade i get...well that grade was an a-, talk about "whoa!!!" i've never been one to write stories, i write poems, this is not suppose to happen!...or is it? i've thought about writing more short stories, but i haven't had the motivation to think that deep anymore...the thing is, do i need something dramatic to happen to me, or do i need that immediate epiphany that you have in your sleep.

whomever said writing was easy, was certainly not a writer.

this blog today may not be as long today, because i have had a long day, but hey, the writing continues....

i was in the second grade and we had a student of the day every day, and i was so excited for my day to come, but i had already had my day...happy sad, i know. i wrote the best one page story of my life in second grade, the name, apple fritters. it was the story of two bears who had so many apples they didn't know what to do with them...so they made apple fritters for their bear community and everyone was happy. my teacher let me read it to the class, and once again, student of the day was mine! victory! i even got a special certificate that I still have, yeah, its in one of my albums....proudest day of my second grade life! writer in the making!

next blog...what do i want to do when i grow up?

disclaimer to my series

what you will notice about my blog is that i will use no form of capitalization, by choice of course. you will also notice my use of ellipsis... i do it all the time, gives my writing a bit of character, a sense of being unfinished and will be completed at a later date... i am not an accomplished writer, nor do i claim to be, but i will try to use correct grammar and punctuation.

i always thought i had a flare for writing, writing poems, short stories and haikus...but I never thought i would be good enough to be a published writer, but what good is that? i first want to believe in myself before i have others who will believe in me.

i've felt like a nerd from the first time i picked up a book...i love to read...give me a book with a great story line, an afternoon of boredom, and an empty room, i'll be lost among the words. i find myself being a background character in each of the books i read, it gives me a better picture of what's going on and how i know what is what. i read all kinds of books, but my favorite is suspense; i love being involved in something suspenseful, that makes me draw up in a chair, hanging on every word till the next page, automatic rush...

poetry...my escape from reality, my anger management, my first love...i thank shel silverstien for my passion to write poetry, he was influence on my life. where the sidewalk ends...a light in the attic...the missing piece, all pieces of works i read as a youngster. his works gave me solice, piece of mind, and a sense of humor. some nights when i am trying to sleep, i would have these words in minds...words beating at my brain to get out...words that would some how influence my next piece, or possibly add to an existing one. poetry is thought to be one the hardest works for a writer, just because it can be jumbled up words in iambic pentameter, but something with meaning and substance. my poetry is my best friend, something that has never let me down and continues to amaze me...

next blog...short stories? you got to be kidding me...