who knows what the future will bring...

i have always questioned this in myself...where are you gonna be in the future? i hope to be writing, or helping kids learning to read. i wanted to be a doctor but could not stand blood...i wanted to be a child psychologist, but i didn't want to take math classes...but there is one thing that i want to be overall...i want to be happy. i've had a lot of saddness in my life, but with everyday comes new hope. i've become hopeful that i will be successful...i've become hopeful that i'll be a wife, a mother, and a great person in the future. my time for all of these are slowly ticking away, but what am i? hopeful.

do you know where your life is gonna be at in the next year?

can you predict the happiness in your life?

only you can write your history.

Remember the time...

i remember following my mother down the road on my tricycle, wanting to go where she was going...i remember my last day of daycare before kindergarten, i got a yellow bear carrying a yellow crayon bank, kept it for years, you know. i remember my first taste of freedom, being able to ride my bike around the block, that was a big deal back then! i remember making my first friends in grade school...they were great till they left to attend other schools.

i try to remember the good instead of the bad, but lately the bad is taking the lead. i'm running out of fingers and toes to count the different times i have been taken advantage of. lately my best friend has been my laptop, only thing i can depend on and not disappoint me (only when it gets a virus, then that sucks) i'd love a boyfriend but i don't know if my insecurities of being disappointed will keep me in a healthy relationship.

i see all of these girls that i use to mentor, and a majority of these girls have children! i'm 27, i don't have any children of my own, a college graduate with two degrees, but yet no kids. having a child out of wedlock is not gonna keep your significant other around, it could possibly drive them away. then you have a child, with no type of support from the other parent, and end up on welfare. if there was something i should have said to keep them from having the children they have right now, a lot of these girls would be graduating from college right now.

i vow to try to change one person's life while i'm alive.